Chapter 4: The Basic How To

You have finally got your group, you've picked a day, a time, a meeting place, and now its time to have that discussion.  You are the designated leader for the week and now you have to actually lead them.  What do you do, how do you start, what if they hated it, what if you..........?  Stop all that right now!  I'm going to be honest, I always have those thoughts in my  head and I always get a little nervous too.  But being nervous does no one any good.  I mean it, stop doubting yourself.  You aren't curing cancer, or saving the world, you are just coming together to do something that you are supposed to be fun, its just book group after all!  I know what you are thinking, its easy to say that she's done this before, true, but every book is a new experience and every group is going to react differently.

Let's take it step by step.

1. When you read the book, take notes, underline passages you like, or that struck a cord with you, or that you  have questions about.  Some of you will be comfortable writing in the book.  I'm sorry I just can't break that rule my elementary school librarian gave of never writing in a book.  If you are like me, I suggest using those skinny to do lists that you see in the dollar section of stores.  They fit inside the book well and as I'm reading I can slip them in at the end of assigned readings. (You can't read the writing on the one on the left it says: funny...I don't recall asking for your opinion.  It was a gift from a friend who knows me too well.

2.  Do a Google search with the title of your book with key words like, discussion questions, synopsis, book group, questions, talking points, etc.  You will see some repetition if the book is a popular one but its always good to get a few questions to use, or to spark questions of your own.  This isn't cheating, you are using resources out there to help you be a better leader.

3. Depending on the topic of the book do some extra research and find interesting links on the book or the subject it relates to.  I always encourage my group to do that as it enriches the reading and discussion experience.

4. No matter what is going on in your life, crazy work day, a death in the family or anything else that is on your mind.  Leave it at the door.  Your focus for the time you are together is about the book group and on your fellow participants. 

5. Just listen.  You need to listen to what they are saying.  If you are leading, some of the best questions can come when you play the devils advocate, play dumb or simply ask, "Why?"

6. As you are having your discussion learn to be okay with the awkward silences, trust me it happens, but its so fun to let it ride.  I promise you, someone will break because they can't stand it! 

7. Find your allies in the group.  Every time I've led a group there has always been one or two people in the room that I can count on to have other questions and thoughts.  Learn to read their body language and when they are ready make eye contact with them and let them take the floor.  These are also normally the folks who jump in during those awkward silences.

8. Be willing to grow and change.  Some books have been chosen by the group that either myself or some of the group weren't overly jazzed about.  What's fun is watching a change in them as we progress in the reading or discussion, you can always be surprised by what you thought you weren't going to like.

9.  This should have been my number one rule.  I always say, you can hate the book, but you have to be able to articulate to me why.  Is it the writing, is it the author, is it the content.  I don't let anyone get away with, "I don't like it."

Remember this is meant to be fun, so go have fun!
Magpie